Monthly Archives: July 2015

“Brady is innocent and did nothing wrong”, claims Brady

Brady Deflategate

In the historic and almost inconsequential scandal of Deflategate, Tom Brady has vehemently defended himself, the equipment team and the organization. After the 4 game suspension was upheld by the NFL, Brady took to Facebook to once again defend his honor. Read the post here.

 

Roethlisberger furious that Steelers don’t have any female coaches

The Arizona Cardinals are making history this year, as they’ve hired the first female coaching staff member. She will be a coaching intern for inside linebackers during training camp and the preseason, and as head coach Bruce Arians puts it: “I really believe she’ll have a great opportunity with this internship through training camp to open some doors for her.”

Meanwhile, Pittsburgh happy hour-er and part time quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is furious that the Cardinals beat the Steelers to the punch. “The only thing I don’t like about playing football is that I’m surrounded by a bunch of dudes, like all day…I’ve been asking coach for some ‘new talent’ for years, and so I was disappointed that the Cardinals were able to make history first.”

Roethlisberger has a history of his own with women. He’s ‘allegedly’ beaten women before, and subsequently beaten criminal charges thereafter.

The Best of Tim Tebow Memes

Tim Tebow Meme

Tim Tebow sucks sign

Gronk’s book sets literary record for number of exclamation points

While Patriots players aren’t winning Super Bowls or cheating, they’re writing books. In his literary debut, tight end Rob Gronkowski co-wrote It’s Good to be Gronk. And it is exactly as you’d expect it – sonnet style compositions in iambic pentameter, stuffed with metaphoric analogy and ironic prose. He basically takes a fatty dump on the attempts of feeble foes like Whitman or Rowling. It’s as if Shakespeare was thrown into Walden’s pond and given a wheel-barrow of cocaine and a type-writer.

Oligarchy in the NFL: Owners, their outsourced stadiums and our burden

Unless you watch John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight, you probably haven’t heard of Hamilton County. Located in the southwest corner of Ohio (aka: the flyover state Lebron James has popularized), the populace of under 1 million folks will be enduring the burden of a half-billion dollar stadium construction that the local governments approved back in 1996. Voters, 14% of whom live below the poverty line, allowed for a 0.5% sales tax increase to pay for schools, increase property tax rebates, and…ahem, to pay for the construction and continuous improvement of sports stadiums, including any hi-tech bells & whistles that have yet to be invented.

This highlights a scary trend in professional sports organizations, where the billionaire owners of the teams can essentially collude (legally?) to threaten increased ticket prices or even franchise relocations in order to secure funding from taxpayers to keep their stadiums state of art. And while we taxpayers get the luxury of massive jumbotron televisions or holographic replay machines, owners reap the rewards of rising revenues and profits. Note, if you just read the sentence including ‘holographic replay machine’ and are wondering which team has it – stop wondering. Nobody does, but rest assured, Mike Brown and his Cincinnati Bengals were promised by the voters of Hamilton County to install it as soon as the technology becomes attainable.

If you need proof that the effects of this deal have already strangled the county and it’s residents, note the sale of the Drake Center, a local hospital that was valued at $30 million dollars in 2006 but sold for just $15 million in 2012 in order to bridge the fiscal gap.

Cincinnati isn’t the only city scouring it’s public funds to keep their franchises in town. Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Phoenix and others have all endured fiscal measures to handcuff themselves to the terms of the billionaire owners and their lucrative franchises. Sooner or later the strike will need to happen.

Here is the video clip of Last Week Tonight that covers the irresponsible construction of sports stadiums:

How to throw the best fantasy football draft party ever…always

The 3 essential tips for throwing the perfect fantasy football draft party. Nevermind the specific recipes for the best 7 layer dip or guacamole or the step-by-step guide on brewing your own beer. Below are the principles that can apply to any league and any situation, and will persist over time.

3 Principals for How to Throw A Great Fantasy Football Draft Party

1. Create an atmosphere, with or without distraction. The privacy of one’s home is about as American as it can get. Control your surroundings to provide the perfect atmosphere for your friends-soon-to-be-enemies. Allow yourself the freedom to indulge in any range of activities, uninhibited by strangers or laws of the common land. But whatever atmosphere you do create, add some type of distinguishing theme or feature to memorialize your fantasy football draft party. The alternative is venturing out into the world, be it at a bar or restaurant, or a Dave n Busters. Stake the perimeter of your draft location and let the chaos begin. Focus will be your primary challenge, so do all you can to steer your co-drafters off course – “Hey, that chick looks like Johnny Manziel…if I were you, I’d use that 3rd round pick to snag him before someone else does.”

2. Consume excessive amounts of anything. The obvious frontrunner here is beer, and it’s well deserved because most people can revolve harmoniously around a 24 pack of craft beer. Others may choose buffalo wings with spices so strong that your septic tank will start to reak of Cayenne pepper and Sriracha. Others may split a spliff of greens. But whatever it is, indulge heavily. This will create an ominous flavor to your fantasy football draft party, an X factor, and even a determining mechanism by which to weed out the weak and let the enduring prevail.

3. Establish tradition. The most important aspect of your league does not lie in the participants, nor the platform, but in the traditions that pass through time. You have joined arms with a tribe of comrades, and over the years you will alternate allies and enemies, but the essence of the league will preserve. Whether it’s your fantasy trophy that lasts, seating arrangements or the belligerent belting of the National Anthem before kickoff, tradition is king.

Fantasy Football Lombardi Trophy

Follow these principles and you’re sure to embark on a journey you won’t regret.

To find our reviews of the best draft boards, click here.