DeSean Jackson says he’s unstoppable, and speaks fluent Norwegian

DeSean Jackson was explaining the dramatic irony in Shakespeare’s Macbeth to a box of abandoned kittens when all of the sudden a fire explosion went off around the corner, so he used his impressive one-directional speed to rescue 19 blind autistic children from the burning homeless shelter before he got a call from famed aviator Chesley Sullenberger who needed advice on how to land his drone on top of a jacuzzi, at which point he was approach by the ghost of Bin Laden, so he DDT’d him onto a Chicago style pizza, thus flattening it and transforming it into normal pizza, and then proudly proclaimed ‘I don’t feel no one can guard me.’

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