Eagles sign Tebow as backup backup backup Team Pastor

In a clear act of God, Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles have signed Tim Tebow, who is behind Bradford, Sanchez and Barkley on the depth chart. Few had confidence in the second coming’s ability to perform, but Chip Kelly has other plans.

The former college star and mentor to current Bronco quarterback Peyton Manning was dropped after a short yet prolific stint in the NFL, at which point he decided to speak God’s commentary via ESPN. He then decided to wear God’s underwear and signed a contract with Hanes. Now we’re all excited to see where God sends him next – most likely, to Disneyland after the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

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