Eli Manning swaps Five years of salary for unlimited ‘Otter Pops’

In an unprecedented act, Eli Manning of the Giants has requested a formal change to his signed contract.

Rather than receive in excess of $16 million dollars per year for the next few years, Eli has told Giant management “you know what I want. Money means nothing to me…otter pops, boss…otter pops.”

Eli has been difficult to reach for comment, because our false sources who reported this story are telling us that Eli prefers being alone in his Manhattan condo, cranking up the heat, and then enjoying his favorite freezer treats until game time.

We’ll continue to follow this story, but rest assured that Eli’s performance will likely sky-rocket now that he has the appropriate motivation in place.

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