Falcons fined for piping crowd noise into Georgia Dome

“Can you hear me now?” smirked NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell as he addressed Atlanta Falcon owner Arthur Blake. The NFL will be imposing a fine of $350k and taking a 5th round draft pick for a scandal that Blake termed “embarassing.”

For the last 2 seasons, the Falcons have been seeking the competitive edge by piping in crowd noise while the opposing teams held offensive huddles. This is meant to disturb the communications and fluency of the opposing team’s offense, but sadly the Falcons suck at defensive cheating too.

Going a combined 10-22the last 2 years during Pipe-Gate, the Falcons have found themselves near the bottom of the barrel in nearly every team defense ranking. 27th in points (26.1/game), 21st in rush yards (118.4/game) and dead last in both total yards (398.2/game) and pass yards (279.9/game). It can only be assumed that the piped in crowd noise was a mechanism for drowning out the boos from Atlanta’s suffering fan base.

In a bitter twist of ironic fate, insiders have told us that the Falcons were planning on using that 5th round pick for a defensive star.

 

 

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