John Elway preparing to lose a little bit, for a change

Some men are born under a bad sign, some are forgettable, some are granted great privilege, and some are named John Elway and can turn burnt turds into golden sculptures.

The Broncos’ General Manager aims to decrease his win totals and overall successes in 2017, for fear that ‘winning doesn’t get too boring.’ He therefore is planning on drafting per Mel Kiper’s atrocious mock drafts, enforcing his team policies Jim Irsay and instilling disciplinary and calculative preparation like Rex Ryan.

Best of luck, John!