Tag Archives: goodell

“Hey FIFA, deflate deez nuts” snickers Goodell

Perched peacefully in his Manhattan office, Roger Goodell is smirking at the news regarding FIFA and the investigation of top executives. Millions of dollars worth of bribes, payoffs and secret money laundering has shook the world of soccer, in addition to the fact that future World Cup host Qatar has seen over 1,200 construction worker deaths whilst preparing stadium venues.

Meanwhile, Goodell is answering questions about Tom Brady’s balls. NFL, you’re not the worst today.

Goodell trying to get Eli arrested to round out his fantasy team, The Goodellfelons

We now know why Goodell has had such sporadic rulings on the plethora of NFL incidents lately, and it’s the same reason we pay for DirecTV: fantasy football. Goodell’s team, The Goodellfelons, are chalk full of talent, and felonies. Which is perhaps why he’s been pestering NFL quarterbacks lately, trying to woo them into legal disputes. Goodell is ranked #1 in his league right now, barely ahead of Dan Schneider’s squad: The Redskinned Washingtons.