Tag Archives: jj watt

JJ Watt recovers from “mediocre” season in “minimalistic” new cabin

He needs to be blocked by 3 offensive linemen, and he also needs 3 kitchens to support his “minimalistic” lifestyle whilst living in his “minimalistic” 4,500 square foot house.  “I can’t be contained” said JJ, who was about to enter his cabin’s elevator to train for the next season of The League airing on FX.

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Garage, with space only for his “minimalistic” cars, trucks, tractors and man caves


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The kitchen, with brand new “minimalistic” appliances


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Cute breakfast nook area, with only 2 TV’s in order to maintain the “minimalistic” feel


Expect JJ to return next season no MVP award, more than half of his $100 million dollar contract remaining, and 300 pages of memoir comparable to the likes of Walden or Leaves of Grass.



JJ Watt selects Bengals D with first pick in fantasy draft

In the half-fantasy-league, half-charitable-foundation called “JJ’s Handjobs for Hobos”, JJ Watt selected the Cincinnati Bengals defense with the #1 overall pick. “I’m a big Andy Dalton fan”, said Watt, the all too frequent sitcom actor and part-time defensive lineman.