Tag Archives: tom brady

“Brady is innocent and did nothing wrong”, claims Brady

Brady Deflategate

In the historic and almost inconsequential scandal of Deflategate, Tom Brady has vehemently defended himself, the equipment team and the organization. After the 4 game suspension was upheld by the NFL, Brady took to Facebook to once again defend his honor. Read the post here.

 

Unemployed Ball Boys Strike Documentary Deal with Michael Moore

They’ve faced more scrutiny than the CEOs of bailed out banks or automotive companies. They’ve tampered with Tom Brady’s balls more than Gisele. And now, they’ll get the national support and appreciation they deserve after unofficially teaming up with Michael Moore to create the new documentary “Me and Tom’s Balls.”

Deflategate report: Brady’s balls are juuuuuust fine (wink)

Attorney Ted Wells has concluded an investigation into Deflategate, the scandal that accuses the New England Patriots organization of deflating footballs. In the report were a few startling findings:

  • Text messages between a part-time New England Patriots employee and an equipment assistant with talk of cash, free shoes and autographs.
  • The part-time employee — a locker room attendant responsible for 12 footballs before the AFC title game — spending 100 seconds in a bathroom after game officials had approved the balls for play.
  • Measurements taken at halftime after a team that is losing tips off the league about footballs that appear to be too soft.
  • The Patriots’ star quarterback and the equipment assistant suddenly exchanging phone calls in the days just after news of underinflated footballs blew up.

The 139 page report has been released and is being consumed by the media at an alarming rate. Don’t expect Tom to have a response though, he’s busy being super duper silly.

Tom Brady voted “Silliest Player” of all-time

A prankster.

A wild child.

Crazy.

Super fun.

Super duper silly.

Tom Brady.

NFL’s first female official “can’t wait to bitch out Tom Brady”

The NFL is making headlines today by announcing the first ever full-time female official. Sarah Thomas, who was also the first female to officiate an NCAA football game, has been in the business for 19 years and has proven her ability to be promoted to the upper tier of professional football.

“The recognition as the first full time female official is really important for obvious reasons,” Thomas proclaimed to our false reporters, “but what I’m really looking forward to is bitching out Tom Brady.”

Patriots drop Wilfork and Comcast Cable “cuz they didn’t cost this much in 2005”

Robert Kraft and the Pats made some bold decisions in recent weeks, not the least of which is the decision to drop a man who is not only Tom Brady’s personal person pillow, but their foundation on the defensive line and a locker room favorite: Vince Wilfork. This comes as a surprise to many on the Patriots and around the league, so we asked Robby K and Billy Bel for an explanation: “goddam prices keep going up, just like Comcast. We’re droppin em both.”